Once I thought I'd be with child,
and despite my fears,
I was overjoyed.

Selfish to say, but still very true
we'd be able to stay together,
because what could they say?

Your heart is within my hands
and your mark is left on me.

But we're kept apart.

My belly did not grow, swell -
I wonder what it would've been like to carry
a new life.

A new life with you.

Relief to be able to wait,
face it another day
when we could fully respond and respect
the duties that would call.

I could never blame the child,
neither could or should you -
two bastards do not have to act their nature.

But life is simplier this way,
much, much
but I still cry
for the life that I never had to kill,
never would kill,
but cry for the one I never had the chance
to love and call my own.

It wounds me more than you could ever know.